Who Nestles Poell ?

Three contractors are bidding to fix the White House fence. One from the Philippines, another from  Mexico and an American. They go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The American contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. “Well,” he says. “I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me.”

The Mexican contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I can do it for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me.”

The Filipino contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers: “$2,700.” The official, incredulous, says, ” What? You didn’t even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?” “Easy,” the Pinoy explains, “$1,000 for you, $1,000 for me and we hire the guy from Mexico”.

Source : YP

(Got this from a mailing list, It’s worth reading im tellin’ you…)

After digging to a depth of 100 meters last year, Japanese scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand years ago.

In the weeks that followed, American scientists dug 200 metres and headlines in the US papers read:

“US scientists have found traces of 2000 year old optical fibres, and have concluded that their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephone 1000 years earlier than the Japanese”.

One week later, a Filipino newspaper reported the following:

“After digging as deep as 500 metres, Filipino scientists have found absolutely nothing. They have concluded that 5000 years ago, their ancestors were already using wireless technology”.

Who would resist a bunch of bikini clad babes holding up signs that read carwash for 5 bucks?!

source : john chow

Something you must know it exist but (don’t) wanna hear. lol

LSSS ( Last Sick Song Sydrome)

Its an mp3 file labeled “EASY - Ambing”. Dunno which is the title or artist, but it has the most horrible yet truthful lyrics I’ve heard. Wanna see why? (insert “K” words where * are)

[possibly offensive content warning]

Naaalala ko pa nung tayo pang dalwa,
sine lang ay ok ka na.
Pero ngayon kolehiyala ka na,
mas trip mong magtoma.
Ewan ko kung pano ka na barkada,
sa mga walang kwenta.

Sa payo ko, makinig ka, kilala ko sila,
Wag kang, sumama, * ka lang nila.
Wag kang, maniwala, * ka lang nila.

Wag mong isipin na hindi mapapansin,
ang iksi ng iyong palda,
ang kyut kyut mo, pero ang dami-daming
make-up sa iyong mukha.
‘Sang kahang yosi, ’sang bote ng beer,
maya-maya ay senglot ka na,

Sa payo ko, makinig ka, kilala ko sila,
Wag kang, samama, * ka lang nila.
Wag kang, maniwala, * ka lang nila.

Ngayon, tatawag ka, ginago ka nila,
Wag kang mag-alala, reresbakan ko sila.

Aww, yeah!

* ka lang nila,
Wag kang, samama, * ka lang nila.
Wag kang, maniwala, * ka lang nila.
Wag kang, paumaga, * ka lang nila.
Wag mong paubaya, * ka lang nila.
* ka lang nila…

source : http://brymac.blogspot.com/2005/08/lsss-last-sick-song-sydrome.html

i second the thought of brymac that this may have a horrible yet TRUTHFUL lyrics. Mark David shared this mp3 at Vanessa V.’s ipod.